As children of abuse, we developed in our formative years an unhealthy emotional and energy bond with the person who abused us, unfortunately that may be a parent. Then as adults, we develop these same connection in unhealthy relationships with others in our lives. Some of these relationships can be abusive, but most are severe dependency and even addiction relationships.
In my circumstance, I was sexually abused by my father, then I engaged in unhealthy relationships with men who represented my father who were emotionally unavailable or involved with another; one was a lot older, and another was an authority figure in my life. In each of these relationships, the emotional and energy connection with these men felt like intense love, and we bonded through sex. During each of these relationships, I was unable to break free and let go. Ironically in my situations, it was these men who left me.
We must be able to break free from these relationships. As a Kundalini active person, I am fully aware of energy connections with others. In order to break free from these relationships, we must break the energy bond with them. Recently, someone I know shared a technique in coping with yearnings, longings, or sexual urges when they arise, and I added some of my own technique to break the energy bonds in these unhealthy relationships.
This is how it works. 1) When we first feel these feelings, allow it to surface, and do not suppress it. 2) As it surfaces, identify what the feeling is without reacting to it. 3) Begin to breath deeply and imagine moving this energy from our root chakra expelling it into the earth. 4) Instead of a sexual or romantic feeling, feel this as platonic or compassion love in our hearts. 5) Stay with this love feeling until the yearnings, longings, or sexual urges passes. Repeat this as often as these feelings arise.
Good luck with your practice. I hope this helps you, and you don’t find my candor too explicit, but it is intended to help others overcome the same problems and issues. Namaste. (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)