In my previous post, I wrote about how many of us have self loathing behaviors. This can be the caused by past emotional, physical, sexual abuse resulting in self loathing behaviors as children and later as adults. If we experience abuse as children, how we were treated as children is how we allow others to treat us as adults because we believe this is what we deserve. I recognized and admitted to myself that this is what happened to me.
In order to overcome our past, we must reach a level of honesty with ourselves before we are able to be honest with others about who we really are. Recently, I spoke with a friend whose husband mistreated and abused her emotionally for 27 years, and recently he ran off with another women. I mentioned that she would benefit from learning to be alone and loving herself first before jumping into another relationship that would just repeat this pattern. She replied that she does love herself, but I did not respond. I thought to myself, if she loved herself, why did she stay married to a man who emotionally abused her for 27 years?
I have realized more recently that self loathing comes in many forms. It can be staying with someone who or a situation that is abusive for many years, like my friend’s and my situations. It can be inflicting self pain like self-cutting, anorexia (starving oneself), addictions to drugs and alcohol, suicide, jumping from great heights, or esphixiation, just to name a few. Our self loathing feelings cause our self hating behaviors, by turning the rage and anger inward onto ourselves. This anger and rage also can be turned outwardly causing violence and harm to others.
It takes courage to face our reality by being honest with ourselves about our self loathing behaviors before we are able to change these harmful behaviors. Once we recognize and acknowledge these self harmful behaviors, we can begin to love ourselves and treat ourselves the way we deserve to be treated through compassion and kindness. (Copyright 2015 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)