There are three other members of my immediate family, including my parents and my younger brother. Because of the abuse and dysfunctions within my family, which I believe is our family karma, I needed to overcome the abuse and dysfunctions of my family, including the roles I played with each member of my family.
About five years ago, I encountered a Kundalini active man who represented my father. He sexually assaulted me, gave me a sexually transmitted disease, and emotionally manipulated me for my money, although I was not the only woman in this situation. When I met him, I knew he represented my father, and I think he knew it too as I told him frequently.
Because I wanted to be near him, I applied for a job at the college where he works. When I arrived at this college, I worked for a supervisor who is very mentally ill, irrational, and emotionally unstable. When I began working for her, I realized that she represented my mother.
During these five years, I worked to overcome my fears of these two individuals as I was terrified, sad, and felt powerless around them. I learned to stand up for myself, learned that I am worthy and deserve good things, and stopped giving my power to them. Almost two years ago, I walked away from this man in March 2015, and during this same month, my supervisor was fired from her job although she was given the opportunity to retire.
Strangely, in March 2015, I hired a new staff member for my office who represents my brother. He is a codepedent who also suffered childhood abuse in his life, and we share a similar relationship like the one I have with my brother. During these nearly two years, I trained him for the job in my office. However, I also knew that as long as I was his supervisor, he would continue to stay as a codependent. My leaving this college will empower him to become independent.
Recently, I accepted another university job in California, and will be leaving my current college. I realized that I needed to leave this college, because my job is done here as I have overcome my role with my father, mother, and brother. My family lives in California, and I am finally ready to be with them as I already have practiced how to be with them.
I have gained self esteem, learned self love, and now am able to stand up for myself without needing their approval or acceptance of me. It is through these difficult interactions and healing my emotional wounds that will allow me to finally be with my family without becoming a victim again. Since I am different, my relationships with my family will be different too. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)