The holidays is a tough time for many, including me. Many unresolved issues arise within me. There are issues of shame, guilt, and self blame that still exist within my emotional landscape. They manifest in my everyday life through my interactions with others. During the holidays, these negative emotions become more heightened. I know that if I still have these negative emotions within me, I simply will continue to attract others to me with the same negative emotions.
Children blame themselves for the abuse and harm they suffered. For instance, if they are abandoned by their parents, they believe they caused the abandonment. If children are abused, they believe they deserve the abuse. This is the mind of a child. As adults, if we have not resolved these negative beliefs or perception, then we continue to believe these myths about ourselves, and continue to behave as the injured child within.
Behaviors or emotions experienced as adults may include self sabotage, self loathing, self blame, shame, and/or guilt. For instance, if our lives are going well, we may initiate self sabotage by creating an argument because we feel discomfort within through anxiety or guilt. We then feel self loathing, self blame, and shame for causing this self sabotage. It is a common cycle for many of us.
How do we change these negative emotions and subsequent, negative behaviors or actions? The first step is self awareness. Check-in with yourself several times a day through grounding. During these check-ins, determine where you feel these negative emotions within your body? What does this negative emotion feel like in your body? What does anxiety feel like to you? What does guilt feel like to you? What does shame feel like to you? On a scale of 1 to 5 with 5 at the highest level, where are you on this scale right now? By practicing self awareness, it will become easier and quicker to identify these negative emotions before we start reacting to them.
The second step is practicing deep breathing exercises, meditation, or Emotional Release Practice, even if it’s only a few seconds or minutes at a time until these negative emotions pass. Do not react or identify with these emotions; they are not you, but merely passing emotions. Practice this as often as needed. With practice, these negative emotions and thoughts associated to these emotions will eventually dissipate. Have patience with your practice as it does not work spontaneously, but will be more and more effective with each practice. Blessings on your spiritual journey forward. (Copyright 2019 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)