Today is my birthday, and I gave myself the best present one can give oneself. I regained my power over my past, over my abuses, and by learning to protect my inner child. Here is my story.
As many of my readers know, I was abused as a child by my parents, and subsequently as an adult, I attracted and welcomed individuals who abused me. Yesterday, I was having dinner with a good friend for our respective birthdays. After our server took a photo of us to commemorate this dinner, I suddenly became faint, light-headed, and nauseous. Later, I realized that I experienced photo vertigo for the first time in my life.
When I returned home, a memory of my past involving an ex-boyfriend flashed into my head. During this memory, I recalled Valentine’s Day with this man a couple of years ago. During our Valentine’s Day dinner, we got into an argument about a past married girlfriend of his. He became enraged during our dinner.
As I dropped him off at his home, there was a snowstorm that evening. Because of the storm, I asked if I could stay overnight at his home. He then stormed away from my car and told me to go home in the snowstorm. The snowstorm had gotten so bad that I stayed in a hotel that night.
As I checked into the hotel, I texted him about my situation. Not only did he not ask about my safety, he didn’t even respond. This was the type of man I attracted into my life due to my past emotional injuries. I chose him as my boyfriend, because I simply did not believe that I deserved any better treatment, or deserved love or protection. Shortly after that incident, I broke things off with him, and now pray for him for his recovery.
This morning, I had a session with my massage therapist who also is a Reiki practitioner. As we worked through a knee injury that I sustained last year, she explained that I had been keeping all my emotional pain and hurt in my knee chakra. I also explained almost passing out at dinner last night with my friend from photo vertigo.
She is a intuitive healer who suggested that my photo vertigo may have been triggered by how my inner child had dealt with abuse. This reaction may have been my childhood ways of coping with abuse by leaving my physical body, since I have been recently working to release this emotional pain.
She was right that the photo vertigo incident triggered past memories of emotional abuse by this man as he also sexually assaulted me and gave me a sexually transmitted disease. It was such a revelation about these recent events.
As we worked together, she facilitated the transmutation of this emotional pain into power energy to my solar plexus chakra. I felt the energy moving through my major chakras into my heart chakra and out of my throat chakra. It also felt painful as this energy was being transmuted and released. As I experienced this miracle, I began to cry from shear joy as did my therapist.
As we held each others’ hands, I knew that this was a watershed moment in my spiritual journey. This transmuting of my emotional pain into power through my power center or solar plexus chakra is nothing short of amazing. I am freeing myself from the pain and emotional injuries stored within my physical body from many years of abuse.
On my birthday today, I regained my power from victim to survivor. I finally found love for my inner child and learned that I can protect her from harm. I release my shame, hurt, and pain. I believe that I deserve to be loved, protected, and honored for who I am. Blessings and Namaste. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)