The Life of a Light Worker

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I am a light worker, but did not come to acknowledge this until recently.  My life is not like others, and it became clear to me recently that I am not like others.  I am not married, do not have children, and don’t even have a pet.  Although I tried to be like others earlier in my life, I was married and my husband wanted children but we were unable to have our own.  We were in the process of adoption when our marriage did not survive and we terminated the adoption.

I don’t know what my life will be in the future, but for now, I move from place to place serving as a catalyst and reflect back like a mirror to others of who they truly are.  This can be both good and bad as many are not ready for transformation or even a small change.  I scare some as they are frightened by their own reflection in the mirror of what they see. Wherever I go, I have been able to effect miraculous change to my community, or just individuals around me.

I know all that I do in my life is intended to help my world. Now, I am helping sexually assaulted students and minorities students encountering hate.  In the near future, I also will be helping rescue animals and sick people through Reiki.  I even found a new home with the perfect space for a Reiki studio for people with wheel chairs to receive treatment with me.

As I move forward on my spiritual journey, everything I need has been provided for me, and all the pieces are falling miraculously into place. I sold my home and my house closes right when the new job I want begins.  I found the right job for me, a new home, and am meeting new friends even before moving to California.  It is like the road is paved for me, because I found the right path forward.  Don’t get me wrong, I have had to work very hard applying for jobs and researching them, looking for housing, and willing to meet new people.

My higher self is telling me what to do at every step, and I follow her advice and direction on my path forward.  So far, everything she has told me has come true, and all the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place on my journey forward.  I am humbled by all that I have experienced. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All RIghts Reserved)

 

The Dark Night of the Soul of America

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As many of you have heard the United States elected Donald Trump to be our next President.  Some Americans are in deep shock, mourning, and grief.  The reason is President-elect Trump used hate speech, negative rhetoric, and sexist statements and behaviors in his campaign. Many Americans are deeply disturbed and distressed by the election results. How is it possibe that this man has been elected by the majority of our country?

As many of my readers know, I work on a college campus on sexually assaults and discrimination matters involving our students, faculty, and staff.  Many of our students have expressed fear for their safety. Our college president recently spoke to the campus to reassure us and to ask for tolerance and civility.  I will be meeting with our international students next week to educate them on where and how to receive assistance, protection, and support on our campus.

Amist all this turmoil, my higher self has risen to the challenge.  Her voice is louder than ever, and she is no longer a faint voice in the background, but a thundering voice of reason.  I believe that my personal spiritual journey of emotional healing has prepared me for what my country is about to face. One by one, countries throughout the world have devolved into hatred, violence, and corruption, even the ones we never expected.

Last Tuesday’s presidential election was the Dark Night of the Soul for America.  We are realizing that we don’t live in the country that we believe, we tolerate hate and violence, and we are complicit in oppresssing and marginalizing the less powerful and fortunate.  It is a dark place indeed.

As I have personally faced the dark night of the soul more than once, I too reflect on my personal losses. It is through these losses that I realized who I was and what I had become due to my life circumstances.  My life had devolved into victimhood, powerlessness, suffering, and perpetual physical and emotional pain. One of my greatest losses was my friend Patricia.  She is a spiritual, compassionate, and kind woman who helps the less fortunate.

I was so consumed by my abuses, traumas, pain, suffering, self hate, and negativity that she no longer could tolerate being my friend.  This is who I had become, and I lost someone I loved in my life.  To this day, I do not blame her for leaving me, as I had become intolerable to be around.  It was through these difficult losses in my personal life that forced me to take a deep, hard look at myself, and I did not like what I saw. Patricia reflected back to me who I had become, and I needed to take action to change myself and my life.

Five years ago, I worked in earnest to turn my life around.  I left my addictions, negative patterns, rage, and pain behind by confronting my past traumas, abuses, and negative patterns.  It was a dark five years for me, but I am now finding light in my life, although all of this is new and unchartered territory for me.

It is a brand new day in my personal life, and with this new found power, I shall share it with my students, community, and country.  This power is within each of us, but we must first face our own darkness, before we can find our power and light. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

 

The Transformation

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As some of my readers know, I have evolved so much recently, and I have decided to take the next big step on my journey.  I had a poignant conversation with someone in my life who I love dearly.  My friend is like a little sister to me, and I am leaving her as I move forward.  As I clean out my closets during my move as it is symbolic of clearing out my emotional closet, I am giving away many of my possessions.

For two weeks, I waited for my friend to pick up these items that I set aside for her. Repeatedly, she was delayed, and postponed picking up these itmes.  Finally, I texted her and explained about my putting my house on the market as I intend to leave here, and that I can no longer wait for her to pick up these items.  I decided to just drop off these items at her home.

As I saw her that day, she said, “You are leaving me.”  I did not feel guilty by her words, but simply replied, “I have out grown this place, and must move forward. I can’t tell you how excited I am about my new life.”  I no longer react to others, but simply state my reasons very calmly.   I just tell people that this is what I must do, and it is not personal to them.

This above exchange is quite symbolic of my recent evolution.  As others are caught up in their every day details of living and egos, I see a path before me with my higher self guiding me on my journey forward.  My life is simply different now, as I feel a purpose and direction for my life.  I know what I need to serve my higher purpose in helping others.

I am clear about my direction in my personal life too.  My higher self tells me to take on challenges, and not to be afraid. Even if the relationship fails, I must try as it will serve a purpose for my soul growth.  I live more fearlessly now, and my world opens up beyond the minutia of life and ego.  It is a powerful experience, and I am humbled by it. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

Living the Miracle

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When we begin to heal ourselves, learn to love ourselves, and let go of people and things that no longer serve us, there are miracles and great rewards awaiting us.  Today was this miracle day for me.  For the past several months, my inner voice has been telling me how to proceed.  As a stubborn human being, I saw dreams and visions, but was skeptical about them.

My inner voice has been telling me to sell my house, that I will find a job in California to continue working with sexual assault victims, and that I will build a Reiki practice in California.  She tells me to find a house with a studio space for my Reiki practice and that I will find clients without even advertising because of my genuine wish to help others will bring clients to me.  She tells me that I will have a partner in my life, and I will make peace with my family.

For some time, I wondered if it would come true.  I began just as she advised, by getting certified as a Reiki Master, preparing my  house for sale, and looking for jobs in California.  Well, today I am one step closer to this reality as a job in California materialized that is perfect for me.  The job is just as I had hoped with only additional staffing needed in this office.   The region is affordable for me to live with my income near mountains and a long bike trail for recreation.  It also is one of the best areas to start a small business.  Now, what are the chances of this?

It happened just as I saw in my vision as it appeared on my computer screen today.  I will find the perfect house to rent with a studio space for my Reiki practice, and my life will fall into place just as she tells me.  I am a true believer of miracles now.  Blessed be.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

Coming to Peace

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Yesterday was graduation day for my Master Reiki Training Class. During the last day of our training, we received two ignitions of the master Reiki energy.  During these ignitions, I felt peaceful and serene, but felt my chest very heavy like a rock was place on it, then I felt my heart chakra vibrating.  Afterwards, I felt the heavy rock rise up and saw an eagle flying higher and higher into the heavens and the light.  Then I felt the vibrations rise to my crown chakra, and felt slightly light headed.  After this ignition, I felt rejuvenated, refreshed, and invigorated, and felt that anything is possible.

These experiences symbolize my resilience and strength to move forward on my journey guided by spirit.  I have finally come to learn peace in my life with myself and others.  It is when we are ready to make peace with and forgive ourselves that we finally are able to make peace with and forgive others.

It has been such a long journey of letting go of my hurt, my past, and surrendering to the Universe.  I am humbled and grateful for all that has been guided, given, and provided to me during my spiritual journey.  I do not yet know my destiny, but my journey has been wonderous and miraculous. When I can be the bigger person to extend the olive branch, I feel that I have grown and become a better person.

After my Master Reiki training this past weekend, I returned home refreshed, invigorated, and transformed for my journey forward.  I am better able to forgive, find compassion, and be less judgmental.  I am thrilled about my experience of self discovery personally and professionally.  Through this process, I have been empowered to become the person I am intended to be. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

When Anger turns to Compassion

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You know you have reached a different place in your emotional and spiritual growth and transformation when what earlier caused anger, now creates compassion. In my job at my college where I work, I help students, faculty, and staff who have been sexually assaulted, physically assualted in their interpersonal relationships, stalked, discriminated against, and harassed. I assist the most marginized and vulnerable people on this campus.

In the past few days, I found out that a group of people at my college call me a rooster and make mocking noises about me behind my back.  Even worse, they made many attempts to sabotage my efforts to help others here.  Because of my work that empowers victims, I am a threat to many who are in power, and they fear being exposed for their wrong doings.

In the past, finding out about being mocked and laughed at would have triggered anger and resentment within me, and I would feel depressed for weeks.  Now, my reaction is that I feel compassion for those who need to mock, belittle, and bully others.  They must face themselves in the mirror everyday for who they are and the harm they have caused others.  They live in the hell of their own creation that is their life and existence.

I feel nothing but sorrow and pity for such broken people, and the utter hell that they must face and experience about themselves everyday.  The truth is that it is not I who is injured by their actions, as I have healed the emotional wounds of my past and no longer can be triggered.  However, their emotional wounds are fresh and exposed for all the world to see and be judged.

Only through love and forgiveness can darkness be driven out as hate cannot do that.  I truly feel sorry for them, and I say a prayer for their healing.  “Please help these people heal their wounds, and save them from their own destruction.  Amen.”  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Empowering the Victim

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Throughout my life, many have harmed me including my parents, partners, and coworkers.  I gave off victim energy for a long time due to many lifetimes of unresolved trauma.  These traumatic experiences left emotional wounded energy within my energy field, and this wounded energy can be felt by others.  As a result, I fell prey to predators of sexual and physical violence and bullying.

All this changed in March 2011 when my Kundalini energy rose as I believe when our Kundalini energy rise it is intended to help the most vulnerable and emotionally injured.  As my energy rose, I learned to access my higher self, intuition, and clairsentience to help me nagivate my life and spiritual journey. This Kundalini awakening began my spiritual journey of self discovery and emotional healing to gain personal empowerment.

Even if your Kundalini energy has not risen, each of us can access our higher selves through meditation or quieting the mind, and everyone has intuition from birth.  Kundalini energy merely heightens these abilities.  No matter who you are or what happened in your life, you have the ability to gain this personal empowerment.

During the past five years, I began to learn to accept myself for who I am, and love myself more than loving anyone else.  This is not selfishness or conceit, as we do not harm others when we love ourselves as we do with selfishness.  As part of accepting ourselves, we must take responsibilities for our own actions and decisions.  Forgive ourselves for our past mistakes, and vow never to make the same mistakes again.  We must accept all parts of ourselves, the good and the bad. It is accepting our own darkness that is truly self love.  This is the foundation of our self worth and esteem.

Once we learn to love ourselves, we become invincible as we no longer require other’s approval or acceptance of our lives and existence.  “I am who I am, and I love who I am even if no one else loves me.”  This is a very powerful statement, and this is true empowerment and freedom from victimhood.  May you find true empowerment in your life. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

Walking Towards the Unknown

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How do you know when it’s time to walk away toward a new direction?  Is there something in the pit of your stomach called intuition telling you that you deserve better?  Is it when you see so much potential and love you bring to the world and others around your life simply cannot see it?  Are you so very different from others around you and have outgrown your current existence?

This is where I stand now in my life.  I live and work in a place that no longer fit my life as the energy resonate dissonant to mine.  The work that brought me here, both spiritually and physically,  have ended, and I no longer have a true purpose here.  These are the signs that we are ready to walk away.  We don’t need a reason, sign, or guidance from above because we just know deep within ourselves.

I have made a truly valiant effort at this college in a rural community to protect students from sexual assault, interpersonnel violence, stalking, discrimination, and harassment.  For three years, I was the only staff person doing this work, and I know I have helped many at this college. Sometimes, one’s purpose ends while a new purpose begins in our lives, and we must find what that is.

I am taking time now to truly hear my calling again to find my way forward. These times are frequently the most difficult as we transition to the next phase of our emotional and spiritual growth. Follow your heart, your soul, and find your path foward.  I believe I will know the answer within very soon.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

My Journey Forward

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I am profoundly humbled by the knowledge my higher self has given me about my spiritual journey.  This morning, I looked back at posts I wrote in 2013. Three years ago, I knew what I would be experiencing today and the healing that is possible for myself and for all of us.  This knowledge is the belief and faith that I have within me the ability to overcome even the worse forms of abuse that was physical, sexual, and emotional.

Today, I also know what my future will look like.  I will have let go and released all the people and situations that no longer serve me because I have changed and no longer depend on dysfunction, negativity, drama, and chaos in my life.  They are no longer coping skills I need in my new life.

My future is bright, and those who are dysfunctional and negative no longer will find me attractive, because I remind them of what they are not.  It will feel equally uncomfortable for them as it is for me to interact together.  Wherever I end up, my life will be peaceful and content because I finally found this happiness within me.

Recently, whatever I read, it reminds me to no longer react to negative people, and keep them out of my energy field.  This is the message from my higher self.  When we react to negativity, that is because the negativity is still within us.   When we allow this negativity within our energy fields, it is what we will become.  Negativity breeds more negativity, and I am constantly aware of this in my daily life.

Therefore, think positive, do good, and you will attract positive things into your life.  This is the Law of Attraction.  Always be aware of what is happening, including our reactions because it tells us so much about ourselves. May you find your path to peace and contentment. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)