Kundalini Energy is Not a Twin Flame Connection

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Unfortunately, I found this out the hard way.  Kundalini energy is not a twin flame connection.  If you have raised your Kundalini energy, and are involved with another Kundalini active person, it may feel like a twin flame connection.  This is why.  Kundalini energy is sexual energy that when shared with another has similar energetic feel because we are able to feel others’ thoughts, feelings, intentions, and feel sexually heightened due to this energy.

I am writing this post to share with those who are involved with another Kundalini active individual and believe they are your twin flame.  They probably are not.  Since my relationship with a Kundalini active man, I then dated non-Kundalini active men that felt very much ordinary until I met my twin flame.  It is only after entering into a romantic relationship with my twin that I realized that two Kundalini active individuals’ energy connection feel very much like a twin flame connection.

Here is the big difference.  Although this energetic connection may feel like a twin flame connection, there are few commonalities and similarities as twin flame would have.  If you believe you are in a twin flame relationships, the tell tale signs that you are not are that you may have some similarities, but live very different lifestyles, have differing interests, have different personalities, and did not meet in an organic way such as meeting in person.

When I met my twin flame in Italy in 2013, I did not recognize him as my twin because my spiritual work and emotional healing had not reached a level of full self awareness, and recognition of my own darkness. My ego was still running my life, and I was still connected in my mind to past karmic relationships.  Until I overcame my dark past, let go of my karmic relationships, and released my ego, I could not see him clearly although I felt him energetically.

This post is a warning to the wise that if you are Kundalini active and are engaged with another Kundalini active individual, and believe they are are your twin flame, you may be fooling yourself and still living in an illusion.  There are no short cuts to meeting your twin flame.  Like me, it took me a while to realize my reality, but ultimately, we all do. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Loving Fearlessly

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When we live without fear, we are able to love fearlessly.  After five years of emotional healing and spiritual work, I finally learned to love fearlessly.  My fears of abandonment, being unloveable, and rejection are in my past, and I am living a different life now.

Recently, when I went through a box of old journals and notebooks, I found a page written in early 2013 about reading some books on Abraham Hicks on the law of attraction, and learning to energetically aligning with what we want.  Essentially, we energetically become what we want to attract.

Our aura or energetic frequency is composed of our emotional and mental vibrations.  Trauma, negative experiences, and emotional injuries create a certain vibration which attracts similar vibrations.  Many will meet or attract those who continue to abuse, hurt, and injure them, and cannot understand why this is happening as I did for a long time.

In this journal on this page, I found a list of things I wrote that I want in my life, including a loving, honest, and loyal relationship, a fulfilling and satisfying career, and my own healing and becoming my higher self. As I reflected on these words, I realize that I have received all that I asked for.

These miracles of finding my soulmate, finding a fulfilling job at a university where I am helping many students, and internal peace and love for myself are the results of changing my energetic frequency to attract what I want.  May you heal and attract what you want. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).

In the End

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In the end, everything works out for the best. Over four years ago, I was involved in a destructive triangle with two Kundalini active people. As I was abused as a child, this was the dynamic from my childhood. These two individuals were married to others when they became emotionally and energetically involved.

The irony in all this, is that the spouses of these two individuals moved onto others who love them now, and they are in happy committed relationships. When I was involved with the man in this triangle, the woman was married to someone else.

Even I moved on to find love in my life, and am in a committed relationship with someone who is perfect for me. It appeared that these two individuals served as life lessons for all three of us of what we don’t want in our lives.

As a result of meeting these two Kundalini active people, I was able to find, after letting them go, a loving and kind man who is good to me. I am grateful that I met these two Kundalini active individuals because I will never repeat this type of behavior with anyone else again.

I believe these two individuals serve as important life lessons for many they encounter.  As I reflect back now, I am no longer angry, but I feel very grateful that they forced me to let go of my past, and showed me the right  and higher path. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Relearning Love

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During this phase of my spiritual journey, I am relearning love. In my family of origin, I associated love with abuse, violence, narcissism, and fear. The lessons I learned in the past five years taught me that love does not involve yearning, clinging, cravings, insecurity, possession, or jealousy. I have come to realize that I have never truly loved anyone and have never truly been loved by anyone.

I am relearning how to love now in my life. As I have recently learned how to love myself, I am learning how to love others unconditionally. Love is behavior we learn through our family of origin. As an adult now, I am having to relearn how to love others and myself.

Love, particular romantic love, feels very different for me than from my past. I realize now that love is peaceful and safe. It is not only the intensity of sexual attraction  which I believe is temporary. Love feels very different for me now, because the yearning, craving, insecurity, and fear no longer exist in my relationships. Even my friendships, feel different than in my past because they involve mutual respect of our needs and boundaries.

As I progressed in my spiritual journey, I am relearning and experiencing my world completely differently. Sometimes, it feels like I am living another life as someone else. As I experienced my world now, my higher self is telling me that this is real love and that my life has changed forever. ( copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Creating Our Illusions

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Through addiction, we create an  illusion for our lives. Some are addicted to people called codependency, some to places called destination addiction, some to substances such as drugs or alcohol, and some to activities such as work, gambling or gaming.

Addiction is a form of self medication or negative coping skill we developed to deal with our trauma or loss. It is a way of escaping or suppressing the negative emotions that exist within us. We even find others or are attracted to others with the same addiction to validate our illusions.

I had destination addiction for a long time. The big difference in my life now is I no longer wish I am somewhere else to be happy. Every day, I recalled an exotic location to dream about my happiness there. These day dreams would be a romantizied memory of my past. This is called destination addiction, and truly is only an escape from my unhappy life.

I am learning to find happiness within myself wherever I am. True happiness does not exist in another place, even a beautiful place. True happiness is in the current moment in your present life. May you find happiness where you are! (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with all rights reserved.)

Kundalini Energy as Catalyst

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Happy New Year!  In the new year, it is an opportunity to reflect on what I have learned about myself.  Shortly after the rise of my Kundalini energy in March 2011, I began to realize what this energy means to the world, and what it means to be Kundalini active.  It is both a blessing and a curse. Shortly before the rise of my Kundalini energy, I met a Kundalini active man.  After my Kundalini energy rose, I interacted with him for about four years, and it became clear to me how  Kundalini energy serves the world.

Kundalini energy serves as a catalysts for change, but many in the world whom we encounter are not ready for this change.  We frighten many people because interacting with us is like looking into a mirror.  We mirror back to others what they are not able to see due to their egos. However, when they encounter our Kundalini energy, it allows them to see things about themselves.

Many people I encounter react very negatively to me, and find my energy heightens their problems within them.  For example, if someone is a codependent, their behavior will worsen around me. If they have low esteem, their fears of being unworthy will be heighted around me.  Many have blamed me for causing these negative emotions, when in reality these problems are within them.  Although we can trigger these negative emotions, these emotions already exist within them.

Because Kundalini energy serves as catalysts, once we have served our purpose, we move on.  Just as catalysts in a chemical reaction does not remain with the reaction, we too move on to catalyze others.  It is helpful to know the catalytic purpose we serve for others.

Since meeting this Kundalini active man, other Kundalini active individuals have contacted me to engage, but I realize that these individuals will not likely remain in my life as I understand their purpose.  We would catalyze each other to assist each other in our spiritual growth, but the interaction may be quite turbulent due to the nature of Kundlaini energy.

I have declined these invitations as I have chosen to travel alone on my spiritual journey. I believe my path is the clearest when I am the solitary traveler. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

 

 

Living in Fear

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Most of us may not even realize it, but we live with constant fear nearly every minute of every day. Fear is not just about being frightened about any particular thing, person, or event, it is a mental state.  This is what I feared.  I feared change, abandonment, rejection, trusting others, being unlovable, being unworthy, being alone, and being injured again.

The problem with this fearful mental state is that we do not take any risks, and cannot grow or move forward.  Although I wanted very much to move foward, I was stuck and living in the purgatory of this mental state. I lived in this misery for a long time.

Another problem with living in this fearful mental state is that we will attract this exact energy that we fear.  Like energy attracts like energy, and I met others who abandoned me, rejected me, told me I was unworthy, deceived and lied to me, or physically or sexually injured me.  I created more misery for myself, and lived in this misery for a very long time.

The third problem is that our perceptions because of our fears will keep us in this fearful mental loop.  If we fear being abandoned, we attract this energy into our lives, and then we are abandoned by them.  We convince ourselves that we are victims because what we fear actually came true so others are doing this to us just like we fear. This is called victim mentally, and  I lived in this misery for a even longer time.

A critical part of moving forward and overcoming these fears is our willingness to face our own fears.  This is what I did.  I decided to leave my marriage and live alone because I fear being alone. I purchased a house and a car on my own.  I began to change my life first with small things like standing up for myself, uncluttering my life as I can be a hoarder, and learned to set healthy boundaries.

I began to work on my self worth and esteem by learning to accept who I am, including my light and darkness, with the belief that I can overcome my darkness.  I began to take care of myself by going to the doctor, exercising, eating healthier, and making better life choices.  I coupled these efforts with emotional release practice, and other healing modalities.  Please see my earlier post on “Emotional Release Practice.”

In other words, I began to work on myself by looking inward, and taking responsibilty for my own life choices.  With these efforts, my life started to change as I began attracting different people, situations, and events into my life that was different from my earlier life.  This is how I know what I am doing is actually working.

When we confront our fears, and take responsibility for our life choices, we begin to attract very different energy into our life, and the outcomes reflect this new energy. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

Love: Living Beyond Dependency

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The truth is that most of our relationships are dependencies.  Love is unconditional while dependency requires the condition that we are with the other person or that we serve certain conditions in each other’s lives.  Dependency is a form of addiction.  All my relationships until recently have been dependencies, either serving as a victim or an enabler.

As I move forward on my spiritual journey, I have very honest conversations with myself about who I still have dependency relationships in my current life.  These are the signs I have come to realize that strongly indicate dependency relationships:

  1. If either person fears doing or saying things as the other will become upset or angry.
  2.  If either person become upset or angry when they can’t control outcomes.
  3. If either person is not happy for the other when one is successful and moving forward in their life.
  4. If either person will not allow relationships with third-parties without jealousy, drama, or arguments.
  5. If either person feel that their happiness is dependent on the other in this relationship, and can’t live without the other.
  6. If either person needs to seek love outside of themselves.
  7. If either person is waiting to be saved (victim), or is a care giver (enabler).
  8. If either person blames the other for how they feel or their failures.

If these signs exhibit in your relationships, you have dependency relationships with others. Before I began my spiritual journey five years ago, I exhibited all these signs in all my relationships, and I was a difficult person to be with. I loathed myself, had little self esteem, and gave from a place of lack.  When I raised my consciousness about who I was, it was difficult to see this darkness about myself.

I began to change my life for the better, once I was able to see the truth about myself. I began to learn self acceptance, self love, independence, self sufficiency, and ridding the negative patterns in my life one of which is leaving dependency relationships behind.  Even if these relationships are virtual like on social media, I can still feel their anger and rage through their words and energy.

With each day, I leave more and more dependency relationships behind as I prefer being alone to dependency relationships in my life now.   Sometimes, it takes great determination to leave these people, things, and situations that no longer serve our highest potential.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

Closure of Our Past

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At the end of each phase of our emotional and spiritual growth, we need closure and house cleaning of sorts.  They are closure on relationships that no longer conform to how we live or want to live our my lives.  Similar to alcoholic who want to change and quit drinking, they must let go of their drinking buddies and friends.  Similar to any addiction, negative behaviors and thinking are addictions.  We become habituated to these negative actions and beliefs.

As I leave my current job and home, I am saying good-bye to others.  It is letting them go as I move forward in my life.  I have become a stranger to them as I have transformed to someone who does not conform to their way of behaving or thinking.  I think it is puzzling and difficult for them as I simply do not agree with them on many things.  I am in the processing of letting them go, and soon I will no longer feel sad about losing my past.

It has been eye opening to see who I have become as I interact with those in my past.  I have a different voice and an inner strength that I have only recently come to recognize as me.  There is a reason all this is happening to me, and this reason is causing the change in my life.  It is painful and hard, but it is for my highest good.

Everyday, I say to myself, let go , let go, and someday it will no longer feel so painful and hard to let go of my past.  Until we release our past, we will be forever imprisoned by it. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)