New Lenses, New Perspectives

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The final days of this phase of my spiritual journey allows me see the last five years in a different perspective.  What I tolerated earlier on my journey, simply is unacceptable now. My level of toleratnce for bad behaviors become less, and the quality of my life has improved significantly.  The two things are directly proportional, and it is we who sets the appropriate boundaries for those engaging in bad behaviors.

As we heal, we begin to see our world through different lenses.  It is this different perspective that is the manifestation of true changes and growth. Through these new lenses, we simply see our reality in a different way.  As a result, we make different and better choices for ouselves, and react and feel differently about our reality.

As I have sold my home here, completed my current job here, accepted a new job and rented a new home in California, I am free to move forward onto the next phase of my spiritual and emotional growth.  For the first time, I realize there is no end to this evolution of our souls.  It continues to evolve higher and higher, and where it ends no one knows.

I am grateful I have found this path forward as I have been lost and floundering for many soul lives.  In this life, it is meant for me to heal my soul wounds, and become the soul I am meant to become.  It is my soul that I am healing and spirtually growing, as I know this body will only be on this earth for short time.  My spirit shall rise, and my soul life will be forever transformed. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

The Feeling of Letting Go

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How do you know if you have healed your emotional pain?  I explain this to many seuxally assaulted students with whom I work.  You know because you no longer are triggered by people, places, and events that remind you of the trauma or negative experience.  This is what I have learned.

Recently, I looked back at the people who hurt me, lied to me, and manipulated me.  In the past, I would feel hurt, pain, break down in tears, and want to stay far away from these reminders.  Now, I reflect back at these individuals and feel neutral or no reactions to them.

Nearly two years ago, I left a very destructive relationship with a Kundalini active man who was involved with a married women.  After their six year affair that broke up three marriages, they finally admitted to me in March 2015 after this woman’s husband left her, that they were emotionally and romantically involved. My relationship with this man also broke up my own marriage.

I left all this behind nearly two years ago as I no longer could tolerate the destruction these two people created as I also contributed to this destruction.  I do not wish them ill now, but I also do not welcome them back into my life.  When I left them behind, my entire life changed as I was able to allow different and positive energy to enter into my life.

My entire direction of my journey changed from that of old negative patterns, to awareness of these patterns, to completley letting go of these patterns.  As I release these patterns, the people who still engaged in these patterns fell away or I asked them to leave my life as they no longer resonated at the same energy frequency as me.

This amazing letting go of old behaviors and patterns have completely changed my life, including the quality of my life and the people I attract.  Through this miracle, I move toward in a brand new direction and path for my spiritual and emotional growth. We must release old negative energy to make room for new healthy energy in our lives.  I believe this is how we change and grow through this letting go. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

The Suppression of Emotional Pain

 

wp-1478214341552.jpegjThis weekend, I had dinner with good friends who I have not seen in about a year, and we shared our respective lives.  One friend shared that she had been suffering from depression, anxiety, and felt unable to function in her life.  I have known her for ten years and know she is suppressing deep emotions within herself from past emotional wounds.

When we were children and we did not receive love, security, or were neglected by our mentally ill, abusive, or dysfunctional parents, we suffer from this loss and we harbor sadness, rage, and resentment.  When we suppress these feelings, we experience depression.  When we feel out of control by our depression, we feel anxiety.

What most people fear is feeling this pain from our emotional wounds.  These feelings are painful, but the truth is that we are feeling this pain every minute of every day anyway.  The only way to rid this emotional pain is by feeling, releasing, and healing this pain. It may be counter-intuitive because we must feel pain to release pain, but it is how pain is released.  I used Emotional Release Practice to assist with releasing my emotional pain.

What holds people back from healing their emotional pain is fear.  Since fear is created by the ego, the ego must let go of control before the release of emotional pain may occur.  I use Observing Ego Practice to help in letting go of my ego before I was able to release my emotional pain.  Try both of these practices to see if they help with healing your emotional wounds. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journeyw iwh All Rights Reserved)

When Seasons Change

 

When seasons change,
From summer to fall,
Memories fall away.

Where once was love,
Feels melancholy and faded,
In letting go.

What I thought you were,
You are really not,
But only an illusion in my mind.

Why were you sent,
I can only guess,
To teach me a life lesson.

How will this end,
Without your presence,
Is my given blessing.

Away, away,
Into my future,
You are my distant past.

When spring arrives,
I will blossom,
Into the flower awaiting its time.

As I look back,
I waive goodbye,
On my journey forward.

(Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Moving Towards Fear

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For most of my life, I have run away from what scared me.  This may be people, situation, and places.  The people I fear the most are my parents because they injured me as a child, and left deep emotional scars within me from the abuse. People who reminded me of my parents made me flee.  Situation or places that reminded me of my past made me run away.

For the first time in my life, I am moving toward what I fear most, and facing my worst fears because I already have overcome so much.  In the past five years, I faced many individuals who resembled my parents in their behaviors and personalities.  I survived them, and I am still standing.  This proves to me that I am able to overcome even my darkest fears.

My next phase of my spiritual journey takes me to the city where my parents currently live, but I am no longer paralyzed by my fears.  I have a knowing that I will be able to handle the difficulites that lie ahead.  I bring my arsenal of techniques and my intuition, but most importantly, the new found esteem and confidence I gained from learning self love.

This is such a different way of being than I have ever experienced.  My future will be bright as all the things that my higher self tells me is coming true.  Because I found love for myself, I have love for my family members, others, and the world.  This love, I believe, will sustain me for all of my soul life. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

The Feeling of Falling Away

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The experience of falling away is a miraculous one.   During my spiritual journey, I have come to realize, it is really the falling away of who we are not.  Those are the layers of pain, hurt, and emotional injuries we have suffered over the course of our soul lives.  This journey of mine is really about losing those parts of me or the armor I developed over the course of many soul lives to protect myself.

As each layer is released or falls away, a truer part of me is revealed.  Sometimes, I don’t recognize myself as I no longer respond in my old ways through fear, resentment, and resistant.  Now, even under difficult or unpleasant situations, I smile at the situation, or laugh at how silly it is when I get bent out of shape about it.

Only in my dreams did I hope to live such a life.  My internal life is always stable and centered even when the rest of my life or the world is in complete chaos.  Those who hurt me no longer are able to hurt me as their actions and behaviors no longer matter to me, and my ego is no longer doing battle with other egos.

I no longer resonate with others who are filled with drama, chaos, anger, resentment, and hurt.  I am just so thankful energy that resonate at different frequencies no longer attract me, and I don’t feel their negative vibrations.  Energy does not lie, and we are how we vibrate. No amount of hiding it can cover up our energetic vibrations even when we pretend to be nice, con others, or lie about our intentions.

This is my new life, and I am smiling all the way.   (Copyright 2016 Awakeningn Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

 

 

 

My Guides Along My Path

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This morning as I was driving to work, I realized that the men in my life have been my guides on my spiritual journey.  These men taught me many lessons about myself, and brought me to places I never would have gone alone.  These men showed me how to stand up for myself as many abused me, emotionally, physically, and sexually.  Others showed me the world by traveling with me.  Some brought me to places to do my spiritual work.  Others showed me the next step on my journey forward.

For some reason, none of them stay in my life as I move past them after several years.  Maybe it is the nature of guides to point the way, but they do not necessarily travel on the path with us?  I also meet them under unusual circumstances.  For instance, I met my ex-husband in Alaska, and he turned out to live within 6 hours from where I was living at the time.

Three years ago, I met my next guide in Cinque Terra, Italy who shows me that I am finally ready to re-engage with my family after being away for many years. He just happens to live near my family in California.  He is a spiritual man who is an art teacher, painter, sculptor, and musician.   I don’t know if he will remain in my life, or he will be like the others who do not travel forward with me.

In each of these relationships, I needed them to serve as my guide to become the woman I ultimately will become.  Therefore, I have no regrets because without them, I would not have become the woman I am today. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

 

Through Dreams

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In recent dreams, I have been seeing my future.  It is not my current life of frustration, stress, and disatisfaction with my job.  In my dreams, I live a different life with a companion. I believe dreams are what we hope for ourselves.  It is through dreams that we discover what we really wish and the life we want.

In my dreams, my future is filled with love and healing as I become a full-time healer.  I have my own practice to help others, and there is someone by my side who is my partner. Through these visions, I am being guided to work toward my future.  Last month, I pursued my certification as a Reiki Master.  I also know that I must master energy protection techniques and learning conscious awareness of my own energy and others.

I have begun to practice these techniques so that I can begin to practice Reiki without taking on others’ energy, and also establish my practice.  Dreams are only ideas and visions. In order for dreams to be realized, we must work and put strategic efforts toward manifesting these ideas and visions. In addition to the physical efforts, I also use positive affirmations and thoughts to manifest what I want.

Deep within me, I know my path is bright, and my future will provide me the avenue to serve my purpose in the world.  I will allow myself to flow with this energy, and am patiently allowing my life to unfold.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Life’s Big Tests

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Today, as I was having lunch with a girlfriend, we shared the most interesting coincidences. She shared with me that during the last week, she heard from or saw her last three ex’s, and one lives in Colorado.  I also heard from or saw three of my ex’s in the past month. Two of my ex’s live near me, but the third told me he lives in Las Vagas now who I had not heard from in over thirty years.

How could this be happening to both of us?  These coincidences we determine were not coincidences at all, but synchronicity or rather tests of whether we have learned our life lessons.  Both of us have been trying to move on past our ex’s onto other relationships.  Now, both of us are confronted with the test of whether we have learned our life lessons, and are sufficiently emotionally healed to move successfully foward on our journey onto the next relationship.

I believe that when we send out thoughts of our dreams or wishes, the Universe sends us signs of our readiness and ability to successfully move foward.  We both have opportunities with other men for a new relationship now, but both have been hesitant to move foward.  On our test, we have been confronted with the most important issue which is: have we learned to love ourselves and healed from those relationships to be able to set healthy physical and emotional boundaries in order to protect and take care of ourselves?  In both our situations, these ex’s were not the right fit for us, were abusive and controlling, or clingy and emotionally troubled.

I am not certain what my friend intends to do for her test, but I have decided to set very clear boundaries with my ex’s that I do not wish to have a romantic relationship with them, and for some, I wish to have no further contacts in the future. I realize now that if I no longer feel fear, resentment, yearning, or attachment to these ex’s then I have passed the test, and am able to move foward on my journey onto a successful relationship.  I believe that I am well on my way. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)