Loving Fearlessly


When we live without fear, we are able to love fearlessly.  After five years of emotional healing and spiritual work, I finally learned to love fearlessly.  My fears of abandonment, being unloveable, and rejection are in my past, and I am living a different life now.

Recently, when I went through a box of old journals and notebooks, I found a page written in early 2013 about reading some books on Abraham Hicks on the law of attraction, and learning to energetically aligning with what we want.  Essentially, we energetically become what we want to attract.

Our aura or energetic frequency is composed of our emotional and mental vibrations.  Trauma, negative experiences, and emotional injuries create a certain vibration which attracts similar vibrations.  Many will meet or attract those who continue to abuse, hurt, and injure them, and cannot understand why this is happening as I did for a long time.

In this journal on this page, I found a list of things I wrote that I want in my life, including a loving, honest, and loyal relationship, a fulfilling and satisfying career, and my own healing and becoming my higher self. As I reflected on these words, I realize that I have received all that I asked for.

These miracles of finding my soulmate, finding a fulfilling job at a university where I am helping many students, and internal peace and love for myself are the results of changing my energetic frequency to attract what I want.  May you heal and attract what you want. (Copyright 2017 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved).

The Right Path?


How do you know if you are on the right path for your life? This is how you know. The path comes naturally without great struggle or resistance. You will be chosen for the job that is right for you when you are ready. You will just meet the person who is right for you when you are ready. I am not saying that you don’t need to apply for the job or show up to the interview on time, or that you don’t need to work on relationships.

The things that are meant for us will come to us when we are ready. It will appear through synchronicity.  If you struggle or feel resistance, it is because it is what your ego wants so you try to control it.  The trick is to find acceptance when you don’t get what you want, because it is not meant for you.

This may seem counter-intuitive because we have been taught to go out there and get what you want. What we have control of is giving our best effort and working hard in our work and relationships. It is not to force and control ourselves and others into a job or relationship we “want.”

May you find your path on your journey forward. Sending love to you on this Sunday morning! (Copyright 2016 Awakening with All Rights Reserved)

Mirror, Mirror


Have you ever wondered why you attract unsuitable partners and drama-filled friends into your life?  How many times have you said to yourself, why did I marry this person or date that person?  Why are my friends constantly in conflicts and involved in drama in their lives?  The answer is very simple.  It’s called chemistry, or we know it as energetic frequency in the spiritual community.

Everyone is fully aware of this phenomenom called chemistry.  It is why we are attracted to certain people and not others.  We like certain people and dislike other people.  Most of the time, we don’t really know exactly why this is only upon a brief meeting with another.

The explanation is quite simple, but many have difficulties accepting this.   We attract what we are, that is we attract those at the same vibrational frequency as us.  This causes the chemistry between two people.  If we vibrate at a different frequency than another, then we feel a dissonance or discord within our energy fields, and the result is repulsion or dislike of another.  It is simple quantum physics.

Over the course of human evolution, our egos have developed a protective mechanism of sorts to protect us from seeing the true realities about ourselves.  Our egos feed us information about ourselves that do not accurately reflect who we really are, also known as self perception.  For example, sex offenders and murders continue to offend because their egos justify their decisions, actions and habituated behaviors to allow them to continue, sometimes with more frequency and severity.

In extreme cases, it is called psychosis, delusion, or mental disorder.  However, everyone exhibits this phenomenon to some degree. So how do we truly see who we really are?  We observe those who we attract into our lives, and who they are as our egos are able to see others very accurately and precisely.  Observe who your partners and friends are.

In the course of my life, I was attracted, for most of my current life and previous lifetimes, to men who are sexual predators, philanders, cheaters, liars, and some were violent. I attracted women who are mentally ill and emotional unstable.  This told me quite a lot about myself who suffered from sexual and physical abuse from childhood by my father, and grew up with a mentally ill and undiagnosed mother.

I began to observe that there was something seriously wrong in my life after I left home and attended college.  In college, I began psychotherapy to help me figure out what was wrong in my life.  Through my recovery, I tried to overcome my attraction to abusive, predatory, and sometimes violent men.   In an attempt to overcome my problems, I married a very kind, honest, and devoted man, but I found him boring, unexciting, and had no chemistry with him.

This marriage did not survive because I again became attracted to abusive, predatory, and even violent men.  Even my intentional attempt to change my circumstances, I could not overcome my energetic frequency, and thus, my attraction to these men who are not good for me.  As time went on, it became clear to me that I must change my own energetic frequency to attract healthier, kinder, and more loving people into my life.

Thus, I began my spiritual journey when my Kundalini energy rose in March of 2011, and I relentlessly committed my efforts to heal my sexual and emotional injuries I sustained as a child and later as an adult.  I understood that I must change who I am to attract who I want into my life. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)


The Miracles of Healing


Last night, I saw this meme and my jaw dropped.  In the past five years as I heal my emotional wounds, this has happened to me repeatedly, and this meme summarizes it perfectly.  This is what I have learned about myslef during these past five years.   We attract certain people who are not good for us because we have emotional wounds that attract these individuals.  As a result, we constantly attract people into our lives who are not healthy or constructive for our lives.  However, once these emotional wounds are healed, the attraction miraculously falls away.

Let me give you an example. Because I was abused sexually and physically as a child by my father, I repeatedly attracted abusers and sex offenders into my life.  I was beatened by boyfriends and sexually assaulted by those I dated.  This became a pattern in my life, and I was completely puzzled by why this was happening to me.  From the age of 20 years old, I desperately sought help to heal these wounds through psychotherapy with little success.

During the past five years,  I then began to seek forms of alternative therapies, including music, art, and dance therapies, emotional release work, yoga, meditation, acupuncture, Chi Gong, Reiki, body work/massage, energy work, breathing and relaxation techniques.   My life began to change as I felt a shift within myself.  It was most apparent when I stopped feeling physical, sexual, and emotional attraction to men who physically, sexually, and emotionally abused and injured me.

I believe that when we heal our emotional wounds, our energy frequency elevates and increases.  When we do this, we stop resonating at the same frequency with those abusers and sex offenders.  They are no longer even on my radar as we no longer resonate or vibrate at the same frequency.  It is the Law of Attraction and Law of Resonance at work under the Universal laws.   May you find healing for a new life! (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Different Lenses


As I progress on my emotional healing and spiritual journey, I am able to see the world through different lenses now.  I see my former enemies not as evil, but as sad characters in a play or movie.  In the past, I felt injured and hurt by these people, but now I see them as injured and wounded characters.  It is difficult to describe how people who hurt me earlier no longer are able to hurt me now.

I see their broken families and the aftermath of the destruction they caused themselves. Their spouses have moved onto other partners, their children have disassociated from them, and they are left to pick up the pieces of the destruction of their own creation.   Their former families move onto separate and happy lives without them.  I feel nothing but sympathy for the outcome of their lives.

This is karma at work.  Good karma is rewarded, and bad karma results in destruction.  In the past, I took pleasure in their failures and destructions.  Now, I only wish that they have learned their life lessons, and hope they turn their lives around.  When will we learn? When we hit bottom?  When we lose everyone we love?  When we lose everything?  These life lessons are hard, and karma can be harder.  Only we can change our karma, for no one else can do this for us. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights)


The Law of Attraction through Quantum Physics


Spiritual principles now can be explained through modern science.  The Universal Law of Attraction, the concept that like attracts like, has been explained through a division of physics called, “Quantum Physics.”

“The broad category called “physics” encompasses the study of the laws that govern the larger elements of the universe, for example, “gravity, “electromagnetism”, “strong force”, “weak force”, and so on.  But scientists realized that when they get to the small particles of the universe, they seemed to be governed by entirely different rules! What applies to the large particles, didn’t fully apply to the small particles. This study, of the smallest particles, is called ‘Quantum Mechanics.’”

“Science now realizes that in every cell, inside everything, even inanimate objects, there are strings of energy that wobble and wave and vibrate in different patterns, and these strings of energy make up the protons and neutrons of every nucleus. Science first “saw” these strings as one piece, called “quarks”, and awarded the Nobel Prize for the discovery of these “quarks” in 1969, but now realizes that the strings of energy come in two different shapes: a “U’ shape, and a “straight line” shape. The “U” shape imbeds itself into the cell, and this is what tells the cell to turn into a baby’s heart cell, or a baby’s liver cell, or a frog, or a penguin, or a tree! The straight line string wraps itself through the “U” shaped string (and this is a “quark”), through magnetic attraction (of the Electro Magnetic Field), UNTIL YOU, through your thoughts and choice, cause that straight string to fly out through your cells, and further out from your body, and out of your energy field, into the universe, to accomplish something or other!”

“So, literally, your strings obey your thoughts, and fly out to attract strings that are wobbling and wiggling in the same pattern!  Other strings that are wobbling and wiggling in the same frequency and pattern will flock, like a magnet, to coagulate with the other similar strings! Once there is a critical mass of vibrationally matching strings of energy, “it”, whatever it was you were intending,  manifests!  THIS is how your reality manifests! THIS is how the Law of Attraction works! These strings of energy is how it can be said that “God is in everything and everyplace, all at the same time”, and that ‘We are all connected’!”

“When a thought “pops into” your head, it is because YOU are VIBRATING at a frequency equal to the frequency of that thought. If it is a thought that you do not choose to think, and you “cast that thought out”, it will have no creative power! It takes 17 seconds for your thoughts to have creative, attractor power.  We know this because scientists can see the effect upon the brain when a person is under an MRI machine, and the doctors have them talk about various things, they can literally watch different centers of the brain emit different chemicals, which then act upon the body to create different feelings.”

Spiritual laws are not merely unexplained theories or philosophy.  Scientists are now proving these Universal laws through Quantum Physics.

Excerpts from “The Science Behind The Law Of Attraction” by JDETRICK on JUNE 18, 2011.” For the full article see: http://www.goodvibesclinic.com/the-science-behind-the-law-of-attraction

Guided by the Higher Self


After four years of intensive emotional healing work, I am still attraction people who are less than acceptable into my life, although it is improving.  So this morning, I am exploring why I am still not attracting what I want.  The initial analysis is that I am still operating in fear and running away from what I don’t want instead moving toward what I truly want in my life.  Ego’s fear is a tricky thing as it sneaks up on me without my even realizing it.  I must operate with the intention to move toward what I truly want and is beneficial for my life, and not just run away from my current life.

Another benefit to doing the emotional healing work is that I am able to recognize unacceptable behaviors toward me very quickly usually within days or weeks of meeting someone who I may not even meet in person.  This is an invaluable tool as I am able evaluate people, situations, and events very quickly without being emotionally involved for long periods of time.

I reply on my higher self to guide me in this evaluation process. Here is my earlier post on Accessing the Higher Self.  My intuition is becoming keener so that I am able access my higher self than quickly determine if the people or situations are in my best interest and for my higher path.  I will regroup and begin work on facing my fears before I am able to move forward on my spiritual path to manifest the life that is intended for me.  (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Karma in Relationships


I believe that karma exists in every relationship whether they are karmic relationships or not.  Most relationships are karmic relationships in that the purpose of the relationship is to teach us a life lesson or an experience.  The worst relationships teach us life lessons, and the bad relationships give us life experiences.

As I progress on my spiritual journey, I become more and more aware of the purpose each person I encounter serves on my life journey.  Are they good and best relationships or are they bad and worst relationships?  What am I intended to learn from each encounter?  What should I take away from these experiences?  What life lessons have I learned?  On my spiritual journey, I observe my encounters with others as a by-stander watching how these relationships unfold in my life.

I would like to share a story involving my cousin with whom I grew up and is like a sister to me.  Her life has been very difficult in that she was diagnosed with schizophrenia in her twenties, and has struggled to have a normal life.  She met a man who has emotional problems and problems with abundance in that he cannot hold down a job, although he has a graduate degree.

When they met, he was married with two kids.   Their affair broke up his marriage and family.   This created bad karma between his children and my cousin.  My cousin married this man, but to this day, they have not forgiven her for breaking up their family.  Although my cousin is a loving and kind person, his children do not see her in this light, but as a destroyer of their family.  This is caused by negative karma.

We can resolve our bad karma with others, but it is with much difficulty and struggle.  Once this bad karma is created, it is difficult to undo and mend fences.  There is always an undercurrent of distrust, resentment, and suspicion.  It is difficult to build a life based on bad karma with others.  This is my cousin’s life lesson to learn.

The irony in all this is that karma has less to do with the kind of person my cousin is as she is a wonderful human being, but rather the result of her negative actions that caused hurt and pain to others. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)

Making Soul Progress

adimirkush_ButterlyOne of the best measures of my ascension progress is observing the types of people that I recently attracted into my life.  Some may say it was unfortunate that I earlier met a man with all the characteristics that I do not wish in any person in my life.  He also is the standard by which I measure the qualities I do not want in any man or partner.  It is truly a blessing to encounter such a person, since we cannot find what we truly want until we know what we don’t want.

Recently, I attracted a few men who took interest in me.  What I have observed is that I have made some significant progress.  They do not have the worst qualities, but there is still improvements needed.  As such, I realize that there is still work ahead for me, since we attract what we are, not what we want.  I realize that the men I recently attracted are more mature and take more responsibilities for their actions, but they still exhibit very selfish behaviors and treat others with less than considerate regard.

What I know is that I still need to improve myself because I am still attracting these individuals into my life.  I have since distanced myself from them to move onto others when I am ready, who are more considerate and loving partners and companions.  I know that I deserve better than the way men have treated me so far in my life, and I continue to improve myself in the hopes of meeting someone worthy of my friendship and love.

I also know that the emotional work that I am doing now will change my soul life forever.  My future lifetimes will be filled with love, peace, and contentment, and my search for these will finally end as I have found them within my own soul, and no longer seek them externally.  All this emotional healing will return to me ten fold as my soul moves beyond suffering, pain, and external search for love.

This post goes out to all those who have helped my soul ascend and move forward to a new way of being.  I am eternally grateful to them for showing me the way to self love. (Copyright 2016 Awakening Journey with All Rights Reserved)