Destruction of Emotional Pain

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When we face trauma or abuse as children, our emotional growth becomes stunted and we become stuck at the age of that trauma or abuse.  My abuse and trauma began when I was eight years old.  So for most of my life until recently, I have been at the emotional age of eight.

The trouble was that I was unaware that I was only eight years old emotionally, since I had nothing to compare myself to, and was not awakened to recognize what was happening to me.  Therefore, for most of my life, I operated under this emotional immaturity without recognizing it.  My behavior was defensive, I lied to get out of trouble, I never wanted to take responsibility for my actions, I remained a victim blaming others for my life, and I was always afraid and anxious.

As a child and into adulthood, I suffered ulcers, stress, back pain, body twitches, head aches, and other stress related symptoms. I took medication to cope with anxiety and depression, and my life was just a balancing act of getting through my day.  My life was very difficult, stressful, unhappy, and full of drama.

After I began my spiritual journey in March 2011, my life began to change.  Immediately after releasing my first layer of pain and hurt that is anger and rage, my physical symptoms began to lessen. My back pain, ulcer pain, and body twitches lessened.  I also stopped taking medication for my anxiety and depression.

Emotional pain that we hold within us will destroy us if untreated, just like physical pain and illness.  Over time, we will become physically ill due to all the unresolved emotional hurt and stress that we endure and tolerate.  Healing our emotional wounds is our way to well being and peace in our lives. Blessings, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Changing Dysfunctional Patterns

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My childhood was not one of garden parties and Barbie dolls. At the age of 13, I walked in on my of father having sex with my aunt, his brothers’ wife.  This trauma during my adolescence left me scared and wounded. I believe that he had several other affairs, betraying and deceiving my mother and my family. The sad thing is that he never even acknowledged the hurt he caused my family.

In fact to date, I do not believe that he thinks he has done anything wrong.  It was always my father getting his sexual and emotional needs met, no matter who he hurt or how.  My father is very emotionally troubled, and has come up with a litany of explanations and excuses about his dysfunctional, deceitful, and hurtful behaviors.

As an adult, I began to breakdown the barriers around these dysfunctional, deceitful, and hurtful behaviors by first, not tolerating these behaviors in my life, and refusing to cover up these behaviors to protect another.  As a child, I held onto my father’s secrets in trying to protect him, but the truth of the matter is that I was hurting myself.  I ended up bearing the burdens of his dark secrets, perpetuating his dysfunctions by hiding them, and helping him to continue this behavior, thereby continuing to hurt me and my family.

I have distrusted men in my life because of my father’s betrayal with my mother and my family; I feared that all men are cheaters and philanders.  We must change our own behaviors by not covering up hurtful, deceitful, and dysfunctional behaviors of those we love.  When we cover them up, we become enablers in this behavior, essentially becoming part of the dysfunctional behaviors ourselves.  As an adult now, I begin to take responsibility for my part in the dysfunctional dynamic of my family. ~ Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Spiritual Healing through Inner Child Work

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For those of us who are on our spiritual journeys, we are all seeking spiritual healing.  Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, inner child work is essential for our emotional healing, and emotional healing also is necessary for spiritual ascension.  I want to share my own experiences with inner child work with you. If you are experiencing any of the following, then inner child work is for you:

  • running into the same trouble over and over again
  • never being content with yourself
  • feeling distrust towards other people
  • finding it hard to feel your emotions
  • feeling closed and isolated
  • always sacrificing yourself and making yourself invisible
  • always taking up the responsibility
  • not being able to say no or stand up for yourself
  • putting yourself under pressure
  • judging yourself
  • wanting to understand everything

Here are some exercises to begin your inner child work:

Play – Find an activity that you enjoy and that you inner child would like. I like rock climbing, caving, hiking, or kayaking.  You can pick drawing, painting, or playing in dirt through gardening. Play with utter abandon in that you play without paying attention to time, so don’t wear a watch and turn off your cell phones.  Stay in the moment, focus on your senses, and feel the pure pleasure and joy of this activity.  Play until it feels like meditation, where you feel peace, joy, and focus with no distractions on your play.

Love – Take time to love and nurture your inner child. When s/he feels fear, sadness, or loneliness, this is the time we need to spend with them.  First, sit or lie down in a safe, warm, and secure location; I prefer lying down.  Hold your inner child in your arms or lap, then stroke your arm, shoulder, head, or hair.  In a calm gentle voice, tell her that you love her, that everything will be okay, tell her you will love her no matter what (unconditional love), and that you are here to protect her always.  Allow her to cry deeply, until she feels calm and safe. Repeat, whenever your inner child is afraid, sad, or lonely.

Pray – I do not mean to pray in the religious sense. You can pray with your inner child to the Universe, God, your Higher self; it really doesn’t matter. Know that there is a higher power who can hear your prayers, and will be there to guide your life, and help you and your inner child find your way together. Trust in this higher power, and that we can let go of control of things we cannot control, and allow ourselves to let go of expectations of outcome in our lives.

Try these exercises and see if you gain more trust of others, have better self esteem, feel less fearful, and feel more secure in your life. Blessings and love to you always, Brooke (Copyright 2013 Kundalini Spirit with All Rights Reserved)

Kundalini Recovery Process – The Stages

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I recently read an article by Charles L. Whitfield, MD on the “Perspective from a Map of the Psyche and the Kundalini Recovery Process.” In his article, his discusses the different stages of emotional recovery during Kundalini, and spiritual bypass of these steps as traps in the Kundalini recovery process and becoming stuck at that stage.

Table.      Recovery and Duration According to Stages,
                 with Ease of Understanding and Using Spiritual Energy
__________________________________________________________
Recovery     Condition            Focus of             Approximate      Understanding &
Stage                                       Recovery             Duration            Using Spiritual Energy
 
     3        Human/Spiritual      Spirituality             Ongoing              Easier
 
     2        Past trauma            Trauma-specific      3-5+ years           Some difficulty
                                              recovery program
 
     1        Stage 0 disorder      Basic-illness full     1/2 to 3 years       Difficult
                                               recovery program
 
     0        Active illness           Usually none           Indefinite            Most difficult
________________________________________________________

“Stage 0 is active illness where there may be acute symptoms of Post Traumatic Distress Disorder (“PTSD”) that is current day events triggering and reminding us of our past trauma, depression, anxiety, or other mental conditions.  In stage 0, there is no active recovery occurring.  In stage 1, recovery begins of the stage 0 conditions.  After stage 1 is complete usually after at least a year of recovery work, there may be emotional release and movement of energy. Once Stage 0 conditions are resolved and stabilized, then Stage 2 recovery may begin.”

“Stage 2 recovery involves the healing the effects of past traumas, sometimes called adult child or codependence issues.  Adult child is a term that has been used to refer to anyone who grew up in an unhealthy, troubled, or dysfunctional family. Many adult children may still be in a similarly unhealthy environment, whether at home, in one or more relationships or at work. Because a Kundlaini arousal often brings up our unconscious material, working a stage 2 recovery will likely help us heal, and authentic humility assists us with this and in our spiritual growth.  Humility is facilitated by having the courage to make the choice movement by movement, to let go of ego-centered thinking and behaving.”

“Stage 3 recovery is the state into which we may be compelled prematurely by having a spiritual awakening.  It includes the experience of spirituality and its incorporation into our daily life.  It is an ongoing process.  In this stage we make meaning of our past. We are now more aware of being free of old beliefs and can work through conflicts faster as we create more stability in ours lives.”

“Trying to avoid this work of stage 1 and 2 recovery can also be called premature transcendence or high level denial. What happens is that our false self will usually pulls us back until we work through our particular unfinished business in Stage 1 and 2, since these stages of recovery are unavoidable.”  Hope you find this interesting and helpful!

Excerpt from Charles L. Whitfield, MD on the “Perspective from a Map of the Psyche and the Kundalini Recovery Process.